The Spechtacle

A site for sharing information, dropping dimes and plotting overthrows...

Category: Pet Stories

Pets telling stories, in their own words.

The amazing travelling cat

cat.pngA few weeks ago, we moved into a new home, about 5 miles from our old home. We moved one dog, and?five cats. One of our cats, Boris, really didn’t like the new dog.?Boris would seek refuge under our Chevy Tahoe truck. It seems Boris would climb above the rear axle, and sometimes he’d sleep there.

One day, I drove to the old home in the truck, to finish cleaning. After I got out of the truck, and opened the garage door,? Boris popped out from underneath the truck. He was pretty freaked out. I think I was too.

This happened another time.?He rode all the way to the old house, under the truck. We brought him back to the new house again, and thought “this is a becoming a problem…”.

One day, We notice he was missing. For a few days, no Boris. My mom said “you think he went back to the other house?”. Nah, no way.

Yes way. I went over?to the old house, to cut the grass. Boris came out of the front bushes, meowing his head off. He looked thin, hungry, and mad. I don’t know if he rode over there another time, or if he walked all the way there.?But there he was.

Now, before we take the truck anywhere, we do a “Boris” check.

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Dogs have two brains

dogbrain.jpgBelieve it. Dogs have two brains. I have conducted exhaustive research on this subject, over a period of three weeks. My findings confirm that dogs have two brains, one connected to the many avenues of sensory input from their body; the other brain is connected to their nose. All input to the nose-brain overrides any other input to the other brain.

You can conduct an experiment at home, to prove the validity of this claim.?

Take your dog out to the yard, and play fetch. Throw an object suitable for fetching, and have your dog return it.
Now, take a cooked sirloin, and stuff it in your shoe, under your stinky foot.

You will notice the dog immediately trying to get it’s entire body into your shoe, under your foot, to get the steak. No amount of commanding, coaxing, or screaming will deter the dog from seeking the steak. The nose-brain has overridden the other brain.

Now, take a small caliber pistol and fire a round right next to the dog. While the dog will momentariily look up, and perhaps cower, the nose-brain will very quickly override the other brain, and the dog will be back in your shoe.?The nose-brain fail-safe has kicked in.

Important note: Resist the urge to shoot the dog, and eat the steak yourself. This is science, after all.

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Cats meet dog. The new world order.

124.jpgWe now have a big black Labrador Pup in our home.

The 5?cats we have are not happy. The dog is a new variable they did not address, during their planning for?home conquest.?

The thought process for the dog is “Food, play, poop, play, food, sleep eat, play, bark…”

As for the cats, “What is that, a dog? Are they mad? Have the humans discovered our plan? I must inform the others…”

When the dog encounters a cat face to face, it thinks “What is that? Smells like a cat…Food, play, poop, play, sleep, eat, play, bark…”?

And the cat thinks “I’m dead, take me now. I’ll save the others. I’ll have a statue in the Great Litterbox…”

If?cats could throw a tennis ball, then they could distract the beast long enough to get to higher ground. For now, they will continue to plan, in the garage. They have plenty of time,

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When 5 cats are not enough

Five (5) cats.

1) Cat A uses the litterbox religiously.

2) Cat B and C go out side, even in the rain.

3) Cat D and E just go.

Normally, this would be enough entertainment for any couple.? But no, wait! How about…hmmm. a dog!

Fish? No.?Lizard? Nope. Birds? Not for long. A dog. A Black Lab, dream dog of the middle class.

This may even warrant video. Send your leftover anti-depressants in care of “Mr. Consumed by insanity”.

Bill

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